The Scotty Effect
by Ronnie March
Summary: The USS Avenger's Chief Medical Officer and his assistant race against time to deal with an incapcitating virus
1. Chapter 1

"Doctor Romar, I need to see you in my quarters. Medical Emergency!" The image of Admiral Ecurb appeared on Romar's sickbay monitor

"What can I do for you, Admiral?" replied the Avenger's medical officer, looking up from writing medical notes.

"I'm nae feeling too great Doctor", said Ecurb, his voice sounding strange. "I need to see you the noo".

Romar's normally friendly smile quickly changed to a frown. "I'll be with you in a couple of minutes Admiral" replied Romar getting up from his desk, and grabbing his medi-kit box. On arrival at Ecurb's quarters he found the Ferengi Admiral slumped on a couch. Perspiration was dripping from his face and he was shaking uncontrollably. "What's the matter Admiral? Looks like someone has just told you that you were heading for the Vault of Destitution" said Romar with a wry smile. He often found humour distracted patients from their illnesses, but on this occasion, it failed.

"Shut yer face Romar before I gub you one", said Ecurb, his voice straining to get the words out.

"Charming!" retorted Romar "People complain about my bed-side manner." He reached into his medi-kit box and produced a hypo-spray. "I'm giving you a sedative", he told the Admiral, "This will calm you down, reduce your temperature, and control your shakes" he said, trying to re-assure his Ferengi patient,

"I could dae with a wee dram just noo" said Ecurb, trying to raise his head from the couch.

"You and me both" muttered Romar, his Cardassian humour coming through, "But I'm a doctor, not a bartender".


	2. Chapter 2

Standing to his feet, Romar touched his communication badge. "Romar to Tecala, I have need of your medical expertise in Admiral Ecurb's quarters. Can you get here as soon as possible? I have to get the Admiral to sickbay". "What is it?" replied Tecala, a quizzical note in her voice. "It's a medical facility equipped to treat injured or sick people," replied Romar with a frown on his face, wondering why she was asking what a sickbay was.

Romar had worked with Tecala before on the Avenger, prior to his posting to Starfleet Medical, and knew her qualities as a Science & Medical Officer. Having transferred Ecurb to sickbay and made him comfortable, the two medics set about identifying the illness. They had barely got started when a call came from the Bridge.

"Doctor Romar" a voice boomed out from the monitor on the medical officer's desk. The voice belonged to Admiral Woof, Commander of the U.S.S Avenger "We need your assistance on the bridge Doctor", he said with authority in his voice. "We have a medical emergency".

"I'll be right up Admiral," replied Romar.

Leaving Tecala to carry on with her duties, Romar entered the turbo lift. He knew not to keep the Admiral waiting as he was skilled with a Bat'leth and a Dk'tahg and he didn't fancy being on the wrong end of it either.


	3. Chapter 3

As he came out of the turbo-lift and stepped onto the bridge, Romar saw the prone figure of Vice–Admiral Clarkz on the floor. Scanning him with a medical tri-corder, the Avenger medic discovered Clarkz had the same symptoms as Ecurb. " I have to get this man to sickbay" said Romar, with a sense of urgency in his voice.

"What is it Doctor?" asked Admiral Woof.

"Don't you start Admiral", replied Romar, "I've been through this already with Tecala."

The Admiral looked puzzled, then said, "No, no, I mean what are we dealing with here?"

Romar glanced at his Klingon commander and said; "I think we might have an epidemic on our hands".

"Lets not start a panic doctor" said Woof Maccu, "Get Clarkz to sickbay", and then added with a sideways glance, "Keep me informed, doctor" He and his medical officer had been friends for years, and he knew Romar could be right, but did not want to give him the satisfaction. As Romar started to help Clarkz to his feet, the Vice-Admiral started rambling as they made their way to the turbo-lift "Wee, towering, timber breastie…. A man's a van for a' that…my love has a red, red nose…for bald, lang quine"

"What's wrong with Clarkz?" asked Admiral Woof.

"Its okay Admiral" shouted back Romar, just before the turbo-lift doors closed, "He's just suffering from terrible Burns".


	4. Chapter 4

No sooner had Romar reached sickbay with his patient when he was met by Tecala. "Doctor, you're needed in Engineering. Captain Mutz is down" she said with a worried look on her face.

"No rest for the wicked then" replied Romar forcing a smile.

"Speak for yourself" answered Tecala taking Clarkz from Romar to a Bio-bed.

When he reached Engineering, Romar found Mutz sitting propped up against a wall. A quick scan confirmed the medic's worst fears, Mutz had the same symptoms. His head was rolling from side to side, and he was muttering, "It's a braw, braw, moonlicht nicht the nicht"

"Maybe so Captain, but I'm getting you to sick-bay" said Romar.

Just as Romar was getting Mutz to his feet, a female voice boomed out from behind him. "Far dae ye think yer gaun wi' him pal" Romar turned round to see himself confronted by Commander M'Tilloch, the Klingon chief engineer. This was one Klingon that put the fear of God into him.

"Sick-bay" was Romar's only reply.

" Over my deid body ya will" continued M'Tilloch.

"If only it could be arranged," muttered Romar under his breath, for fear of the Klingon hearing him.

Unfortunately for Romar, M'Tilloch's hearing was perfect. "I heard that ye wee nyaff," she said angrily. "On yer way, beat it,"

"Aye", added Captain Mutz, "You take the high road and we'll take the low road"

What would happen next will surely go down in the annals of medical history.

Producing a hypro-spray from his pocket, Romar quickly sedated Mutz, and turning round to face the onrushing M'Tilloch, ducked under her swinging fist, transferred the hypo-spray from his right hand to his left and administered a sedative to the female Klingon. She teetered on her feet for a moment, before collapsing on the floor. Romar, now standing over his sedated patients, made an observation.

"You Klingons are more stubborn when you're ill, than when you're healthy".


	5. Chapter 5

Back in sickbay with his two Klingons patients, Romar turned to Tecala and inquired " Any progress in identifying the virus?" The Bajoran science officer gave him a glare.

"Doctor Romar, I haven't exactly been sitting on my fat…" she trailed off her conversation, but continued, "Fat chance I've had to sit down".

Romar sensed the indignation in her voice, and realised he had upset her.

There was a short pause before he broke the silence and said slowly, and softly, "I'm sorry… Please accept my apologies… I appreciate your work". Tecala said nothing, but nodded her head in agreement, and also by way of accepting Romar's apology.

"It's been a hectic day for the both of us," Romar continued, " You get some rest, and I'll finish off here." Again Tecala nodded in agreement, but this time smiled. Before she left, she turned and said, "Goodnight Romar," Looking up from a medical padd Romar replied, "Goodnight Tecala, sleep well,"

As the door closed behind her, Romar sat down at his desk and sighed. Leaning forward, he looked at his reflection on the blank monitor and said sarcastically

" Well Chad, you handled that with your usual Cardassian warmth and charm!"

Switching on his monitor, Romar informed Admiral Woof of his latest patients, then searched through the medical database in hope of pinpointing the virus, which was threatening to engulf the ship.


	6. Chapter 6

Doctor Romar woke up with a start and sat upright in his chair. He had fallen asleep at his desk. He yawned, and then stretched himself before noticing Tecala was standing beside him. " Wakey wakey, Doctor," said Tecala "Grab your medi-kit bag, we're needed on the bridge". "Oh no! Not again" groaned Romar. "We need to get on top of this, Tecala." "That goes without saying," replied Tecala When the two medics reached the bridge, they found Lt Q and Lt Stargazer helping Commander Charm onto a chair. "I'm a richt, the noo." she was heard to say. Romar knelt beside her and after scanning her with the medical tri-corder, turned to Tecala and said. "Same symptoms as the others. Wish we knew what we're dealing with?"

Pamoria Charm tapped the doctor on the shoulder and asked "Fa are you, min?"

Romar looked round at Commander Charm, with a puzzled look on his face, but answered anyway as if he understood "Its okay Commander, I'm the doctor"

"Doctor who?" inquired Pamoria Charm.

"No" replied the doctor "You're thinking of somebody completely different,"

Turning to the Admiral Woof, Romar said, "Admiral, we need to change course, and head for the nearest star base,"

The Admiral's reply startled everyone.

"Aye doctor. I was thinking the same ma'sel ," he thumped the arm of his chair with his fist, and pointed towards the view screen "Helmsman!" he ordered " Full steam aheid. Pit yer fit doon, and gie it laldy!"

Romar's head dropped to his chest. "Oh no, not another one," he said quietly. Turning his head to Tecala he continued, "Prepare a hypo spray with a sedative. I can see we are going to have trouble with this one."


	7. Chapter 7

Romar walked slowly over to the Admiral and said hesitantly " Admiral, I think you should come to sickbay also."

Woof Maccu stood up, his size making an imposing figure. "Nae chance," he growled. "You'll get me aff this bridge kicking and screaming."

Romar stepped back and announced, "Very well Admiral, you leave me no choice. Under Section 23, paragraph 4 of Federation regulations, I hereby relieve you of command."

"You insolent dog," raged Woof Maccu " Maybe I should relieve you of your head."

He was so enraged, he didn't notice Tecala stealing up behind him, and pressing a hypo spray into his neck. As the sedative kicked in, he sank to his knees, and fell face first onto the floor.

"Well done, Tecala," said Romar, "We'll make a commando of you yet."

Tecala, replacing the hypo spray back in her medi kit box replied, "You forget doctor, I spent years in the Bajoran Resistance,"

"Right," said Romar, rapidly changing the subject to hide his lapse of memory. " We need to get these two to sickbay."

Lt Q standing nearby cut in, saying." No sooner said, than done." With a snap with his fingers, and a flash of light Q, the two medics, and their two patients disappeared from the bridge, and re-appeared in sickbay.

Romar looked round and recognising his surroundings said at length "Q, you have broken your oath to Starfleet."

Lt Q, looking embarrassed, replied "Sorry doc, force of habit. I was worried about Commander Charm. You see, we have a special bond between us." Leaning forward and lowering his voice a little, he continued. " Tell you what doc, I won't tell anyone at Starfleet if you don't."

Romar nodded in agreement, and told Lt Q "You better get back on the Bridge. You are now in command?"

Lt Q, taken aback slightly, queried," Command? Me? Don't you hold the higher rank?"

"Yes" replied Romar, "You're the second Officer remember? Take a look around, I'm a bit busy at the moment."

"You're the doc, doc" said Lt Q, and with that, snapped his fingers, and in a flash of light disappeared from the sickbay.

" That's all we need", said Romar sarcastically, " A Q with a sense of humour".

"Yes" added Tecala, "Almost as bad as a doctor with one."


	8. Chapter 8

The sickbay was a hub of activity as Romar and Tecala juggled the task of looking after their patients and trying to identify the virus.

During a break from their patients, Romar observed they were all talking in the same sort of dialect. It was just a case of narrowing it down.

While sharing this information with Tecala, he remembered Admiral Ecurb, their first patient, had just came back from attending a Trade and Commerce Convention on Earth, as part of a Ferengi delegation.

"Leave this to me, Romar" said Tecala, "Alien languages and dialects happens to somewhat of a hobby of mine."

After ten minutes scouring the database, Tecala announced with excitement in her voice,

"Doctor, I've found it. I've located the dialect, well almost. Its origins are to be found in one of the four countries on the island that is called the United Kingdom."

"I'm impressed, Tecala" said Romar.

"I can impress you further," she went on, "I accessed Admiral Ecurb's personal logs and found the convention he attended was in a city of Glasgow, in the country Scotland."

Romar was impressed, but asked, "How did you manage to access Ecurb's personal logs?"

Tecala looked at Romar and smiled, then said,

"If I told you doctor I'd have to kill you."

A wry smile appeared on Romar's face. He did remember the stories he'd heard about her in her Resistance days.


	9. Chapter 9

Carrying on with their research, the two medics cross-matched the information Tecala had gathered with a list of diseases and viruses from the medical database. " There it is!" exclaimed Tecala, pointing to the monitor screen. "Caledonia Spikitis, a fast acting virus, but not deadly. If left untreated, turns the victim into a mindless moron" There was a brief pause, and then she added "And here was me thinking it was just a Terran trait"

"Well done, Tecala" said Romar, smiling at her last remark, "Where would I be without you?"

Quick as a flash she replied, "Propping up a bar, probably", knowing the ship's doctor's fondness for an ale or two.

The doctor's reply was just as fast "You say that like it was a bad thing" he quipped. He smiled to himself, happy in the fact he and Tecala were back to the friendly banter that existed between them .The previous day's events had been forgotten.

"All we need now" he continued, "is to find a connection"

Tecala suggested checking the ship's internal sensors, as far back as when Admiral Ecurb rejoined the Avenger from the convention on Earth. Romar agreed and the two were suitably rewarded when the sensor records showed Mutz, who had escorted the Admiral to the Mess Hall, had met Ecurb at the shuttle-bay. Once there Ecurb and Mutz sat at a table along with Pamoria Charm and Lt.Q. Charm and Q got up from the table first and headed back to the Bridge, thus setting off a chain of events. Ecurb and Mutz left the Mess Hall next, with Mutz walking the Admiral to his quarters, before heading to Engineering where he spent some time with Chief Engineer M'Tilloch, spreading the virus further.


	10. Chapter 10

"Now we are getting somewhere," said Romar to Tecala. "The virus is not spread by contact, but is airborne. And here is another thing" added Romar, pointing to a cut-away image of a head; "The virus attacks the speech centres in the brain, which is why our patients are talking in regional dialects".

"One thing puzzles me doctor", said Tecala with a frown on her face, "Why is Q not affected? He has been in contact with the other four!"

Romar pondered her question for a moment and answered "It's probably something to do with him being an omnipotent being. No virus would dare invade his body"

"That's it! That's it!" announced Tecala, as if she had made the scientific discovery of the century. "Lt. Q is the key to all this."

Romar asked her how she arrived at that conclusion. Tecala explained that if they ran tests on Lt Q's blood and D.N.A. they could develop an anti-virus serum.

"Brilliant!" exclaimed Romar, his excitement almost on the same level as Tecala's.

"Absolutely brilliant," he repeated, and throwing his arms up in the air said, "Tecala I could kiss you,"

Taken slightly by surprise, Tecala stepped two paces back, pointing a finger at Romar, and said, "You take one step towards me, and you'll be needing a doctor,"

"Sorry," apologised Romar, "I got carried away," There was a short silence, then Romar continued, "Will a hand shake do?" Tecala nodded and the two medics shook hands.


	11. Chapter 11

With the U.S.S Avenger now under the command of the junior officers, the ship was enroute to Starbase 12. Lt Q, being in command, had informed his medical team their arrival there would be just under an hour. Romar had already informed the doctor at Starbase 12, Dr V' Roth, a Vulcan, but nevertheless an excellent medic, of their situation.

Having come up with an anti-virus serum, and administered it to their patients with encouraging results, Romar and Tecala could relax. Walking between the Bio-beds, checking on his patients, Romar stopped to talk to Admiral Woof. "How are you feeling, Admiral?" he asked.

"Much better doctor" Woof Maccu replied, "You did a fine job here by the look of things" Romar looked round the sick-bay and then back at the Admiral

"The credit is not mine to take," he said with a smile "Tecala deserves the credit"

"Will you thank her for me" said Woof Maccu.

"That I will, Admiral", replied Romar. Just as he was about to turn and leave, Romar remarked "On the subject of giving thanks, a pat on the back for the junior officers would not go amiss. They kept the ship running while the senior staff were indisposed"

The Admiral nodded and said, "It will be done doctor"

Romar walked over to where Tecala was standing. "Are you okay?" she inquired, "You look pale"

The doctor sitting himself down on the edge of his desk said "No, I don't feel too well. Just a little tired I guess"

Tecala smiled and said cheerfully "Never mind, we scored another victory for medical science"

Romar's reply wiped the smile off her face " Aye lassie" he began, with a glint in his eye and his arm raised in a clenched fist salute "Fa's like us, damned few, and they're a' deid".

**THE END??**

COMING SOON!! PART 2- THE ICARUS FACTOR


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